The Better Football summer season was sent off in a scintillating fashion, as Man Titty retained their crown thanks to their abilities from twelve yards. 

This game had everything. The Unicycles made the scores level from 2-0 down and end to end football ensued. Then with six minutes left Man Titty pulled ahead only to be pegged back when VUW scored with one of the last kicks of the game. With no extra time, it fell to Titty keeper Praneet Singh to save his side. His two stops vs the Unicycles’ zero handed The Tits their second consecutive cup. 

The goals:

Ed Bailey (Man Titty, 16th minute) Winger Che’s fantastic run down the right-hand side got him away from the defence with time and space to spare. From there, a cut inside and a cross to his captain enabled Bailey to blast it into the roof of the net. 

Tim Rawiri (Man Titty, 36th minute) The Unicycle defence fell asleep and Rawiri hence doled out the punishment. After collecting a throw-in using some incredible ball control the skillful striker got past his man and sent from distance a low and hard shot into the net. 

Matt Greenwood (Unicycles, 39th minute) A fantastic long-ball was lifted down the pitch by Shannon Doyle to which Greenwood latched on. The attacker used all his nous to escape a first defender and then to cut inside to avoid a second, and it all paid off when Singh could do nothing to stop his shot. 

Khoi Dinh (Unicycles, 47th minute) In what was a painful concession for Singh and his team, a free-kick from the Cycles was lifted into the area. It was an easy diving catch for the keeper, which made it all the more painful when the ball spilt and Dinh put the loose ball in the net.

Tim Rawiri (Man Titty, 76th minute) With four minutes left of play, the drama of the final hadn’t quite ran out. A runner down the left wing got taken down, and despite the protests of the Unicycle bench, the penalty was given. Rawiri went right. So did the Unicycle goalie Coghill, but it wasn’t enough to get the stop. 

Own Goal (Unicycles, 79th minute) With the clock ticking the Unicycles turned to the most confounding move in the book. A short corner. Even more confoundingly, it worked. The cross came in, and a bunch of rebounds saw it come off a Titty player and into the goal. 

Penalties:

Man Titty went first scored all of their first four. The Unicycles went second and had their first and third saved.

The pivotal moment:

With the score 2-2 and momentum definitively with The Unicycles, in one of their myriad attacks, a 49th minute through ball was released for Greenlaw. It was hit perfectly, splitting the defence and at close range, Greenlaw came would have scored had it not been for Singh’s legs to come in clutch and send the ball spinning away. 

The stars: 

Man Titty: Praneet Singh. Singh may have made the error which saw Dinh score, but he more than made up for it. Not even considering the numerous saves made like the one mentioned above, he stopped a full 50% of the penalties headed his way. 

Unicycles: Shannon Doyle. The Cycles captain not only provided a brilliant and aesthetic assist for Greenwood’s goal, but his calm leadership allowed cooler heads to prevail when tempers flared during what was undoubtedly a big match.

The comments: 

Chris Scarrot, Unicycle manager: “I’m very proud of how the team did today. They’ve taken a team which hasn’t won one game in the last three years to penalties. We showed a lot of heart throughout the match but especially late on to get a goal in the last minute. Still, gutted.” 

Ed Bailey, Titty captain: “Bit of a worry there at the end but Praneet being cool in goal during penalties saw us through. We came up against good opponents today - they really pushed us which made for good watching.” 

The meaning:

For the second year in a row Man Titty have done the double, winning both cup and league titles. Congrats to all involved. 

The future:

That’s all folks! Thank you to all who have read these reports (I have a lot of fun crafting them). See you next season!

- Dan